rise and fall?

Time to get busy again.

2009-07-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

Lifestyle Fair ended last friday.
But that doesn't mean that it's time to sit back
and relax. Hardwork for me starts all over again
having to plan for another event on the 6th and
7th of august.

Schedule is getting tighter and tighter each day.

I'm also getting more and more tired each day.

Let's just take on step at a time...

Ok it's been a long time since i put up a video here.
So here it is...

Leave?

2009-07-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

The day i took leave from EMRS.

seriously i think it was damn fucked up.
all the shit that was not supposed to
happen, all happened on the same day.

but well. The day is soon going to be over.

In a while more, I'll close my eyes and go to
sleep. When I wake up, it's a new day. New
things coming my way.

Thanks to all those who tried to cheer me up.
(:

wat a week

2009-07-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

What a week it's going to be next week.
Superbly big. Superbly busy week and
the worst thing is that it's going to start
right away tomorrow!!!

MONDAY BLUES MAN!!!

Lifestyle fair. Let's hope I'll be able to help
Eugene and Marcus well. I'm been so worried
that I might not be of any help to them and
that's why I try to help them in any way that
I can...
So glad that I'm attached to them. We're selling
sportswear and football jerseys.

All the best to EMRS team 2 and 3.
Lifestyle Fair will do well! I'm sure!

To all other NYP students,
Visit the Lifestyle Fair and do your shopping
at the same time support your school mates.
Things are going at cheap prices after discount.
So come on down and SHOP!!!

damn tiring

2009-07-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

To all those who says that EMRS is slack,
I do not agree to it at this moment of time.

So much work to be done given so little time.
Posters, reports, proposals and stock counts.
Headache causers man all these stuffs.

I've been kept busy all day today.
However i feel that it's enriching.
Did a lot of things I never did before.
But still, it's super tiring. I feel like sleeping
while I was designing the poster. Eyes felt
so heavy then but now that I think of it, there
are many others who are busier than me.

Energy drained...

How i wish you knew...
but even if you do,
nothing good would come out of it isn't it?
hais...

busy and tired

2009-07-11T22:52:00.000-07:00

I have been quite busy all of last week.
Now i think i'm going to be busy again
in the week to come...

And the big thing starts on Monday.
My group's second EMRS event will be taking place.
It's actually an Ultimate Frisbee promotional event.
There will be workshops, clinic, games and a small
tournament between the teams that are taking part.
Everything happening in just one day (2 and a half hours).

I wanna find a job but my school schedule now plus my sports commitment would certainly not able me to commit myself to work. But i want to be able to earn some extra cash to spend. How I wish there is a super flexible job that I can take but it's like quite impossible to be able to find these type of jobs if you think about it seriously.

I just realised something.
Today is my day. hahahas
11 July. My jersey number! 11!

Alright, I'm feeling very tired after 1 hard day of training.
I'm quite satisfied with my performance today but I sure
can't stop here. It can only get better.

For now, it's time to S L E E P SLEEP!!!

tired

2009-07-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i last updated this blog.

Life has been the same.
Like how i always complain that my life is like a
never ending circle. It has been staying that way
without much change.

Singapore Opens 2009 coming soon. It's just round the corner actually. I've been working so hard for it, but sadly enough, I may not be able to play this year. Well, I do not have a choice if i really can't play. Maybe I can just take the training that I have now to further prepare myself for next year and many more years to come.

Furthermore, my performance so far ain't that good. I am not playing to my fullest potential and I just can't seem to get past it. I think about all these things day and night and I put in my all during trainings but still, things do not go my way. Well maybe things are sometimes like that isn't it? I just have to keep going on. Maybe one day, I'll be up there...

Well here is a nice video by 2pm to end of the post...

the best?

2009-06-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hahahas many have misunderstood the actual meaning of my previous post. What I actually meant was that in the H1N1 situation that the nation is in right now and me having to go to school for my TEP, the thing that i want to avoid most is to avoid being infected. Get tested positive for H1N1 and there goes my TEP time in school.

Therefore, please please please nothing happens to me.

First tournament for the juniors tomorrow.
Dunno how they would do but I certainly hope
for the best possible result. However, having
said that, what is important for them is to go
they and have fun while giving their all.

I am leading a team myself. Although I really
would want the team to go as far as we can,
but I wouldn't forget the main aim.

I see it as a chance to get closer to the juniors
as well. Bonding session while playing a tournament?
How cooler can it get. hahahas

All the best to everyone tomorrow!

H1N1

2009-06-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

The last thing you want to happen to you now,
IS TO BE TESTED POSITIVE FOR H1N1.
and get quarantined...

2009-06-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Come tomorrow, it'll be 2 weeks of me being in

EMRS. Over the past 2 weeks, a lot have been

talked about, a lot have been discussed about,

a lot have been thought about.

First event done was the Mini Roadshow.

Promoted and Sold items from CHEERS.

It went well in my opinion. Sales target reached

and everyone had fun.

After this week, it'll be 7 more weeks left with

2 more mega events at hand. Seriously, I feel that

I would miss the place and the people there. BUT

as they say, all things comes to an end but memories

of it will always stay.

ALWAYS ENJOY WHATEVER YOU'VE DECIDED TO DO.
HAVE NO REGRETS, GET THE BEST OUT OF THEM.

Weekends

2009-06-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

And here comes the weekends again.
A time for me to slack at home and relax?
well maybe not.

Training tomorrow, and a lot of school stuffs
to be settled over the weekends. It's going to
be fun. Is it?

My TEP stopover isn't that bad after all.
We got some sporting and fun people all
in the same project room. How cool is that?

Had the 'team bonding' games today and
I felt the team in charge of it did quite
well given the time that they had to plan
the half day's activities out.

Anyway, life like a working adult isn't
that bad after all. Quite fun, challenging
and at the same time, ENRICHING.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE A TEAM
LIKE MINE! (:

rollercoaster day

2009-06-15T23:54:00.000-07:00

I seriously am starting to hate the school system.

Had to go back to school for my first day of TEP today.
The TEP team was supposed to like notify us like last
week or something telling us on where and what time
we are supposed to report to school for our first day
today but they failed to do so.

Excuse given by them:
"We were supposed to upload it online on CMS but
there was some problem with the uploading. So it
had to be this last minute."

They F-ing called me at 9:30am today asking me
report to school immediately at one of the lecture
theatres. How more stupid can they get.

Like even if you upload it online, you still have to
send an sms or call us to tell us to check the website
for more information what. Like who would go to the
CMS everyday like how ppl go facebook.com.

After I ended at 5:30pm,
met Jon and off we went to town.
After town was pool at yishun SAFRA.
It's been a long time since I played pool
seriously and I quite sucked at it just now.
Standard certainly dropped. WTF.

POOL soon anyone?

tired

2009-06-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously very tired.
What's worst is that my holidays is coming to an end.
An almost sleepless weekend and school starts on monday.
I predict it is going to be some madness.

BUT the thought of having to go for school while everyone
is on holiday really sucks man. Like the school will be like
super empty you know.
On the bright side is that the canteen would be a lot less
crowded. No more long queuing for food. I hope...

It doesn't matter if we will meet again,
It doesn't matter if you will remember me,
I just want to tell you a secret.
I LOVE YOU.

haunting me

2009-06-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

I once said, "it's coming back to haunt me isn't it?"
True enough, it's back.

Today, it was further proven to me.
I wasn't able to play like how i usually do.
Or should I say, I simply sucked.
Maybe this has affected my confidence
and I have changed into another different
player altogether.

I tell people what to do but I myself wasn't
able to do it. It feels all super sucky totally.

But the motivations given to me, the advice given to me,
words said by others. I CANNOT FAIL THE TEAM.

Ask not what the team can do for you,
but what you can do for the team.

I play by that principle. That's why I feel so bad when
my teammates can't catch a disc thrown by me. I take
it upon myself that my throw just wasnt good enough..

I have to wake up from all this and get better again!

cool.

2009-06-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

Just happened to switch on the TV and changed the
channel to Channel 5. Guess what? SINGTEL GRID
GIRLS on TV man!! hahaha.

not bad, quite a number of pretty ones this season.
I mean really pretty ones.

Deborah, 19. Nurse.

SHE'S HOT! I SWEAR! lol...

I won't be able to attend both Roy's birthday celebrations
and DKs beach outing at Sentosa.

Just have to hope for another day man.

Alright, I better get back to my party planning stuffs now.
The party is just next saturday and I've yet to submit the
full plan and layout to Ben.

Aim: Get it done by tomorrow!!

time to relax.

2009-06-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful for this 2 weeks break that I'm having.

I could really feel the tiredness in me last week.
The feeling of like really needing a rest so badly.
All you want to do is to sleep in and wake up late
then slack at home all day long.

Finally, I'm getting it.

Training tomorrow and wednesday.
PLUS plannings and admin stuffs to be done.

This is why I'm thankful for the 2 weeks break.
(:

Weekends Again

2009-05-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

and here comes the weekends again.

Tomorrow:
- Soccer with the Guys.
- NYTP TEAM DINNER

Sunday:
- League matches

And after that, Monday would arrive.

Life is more and more like a cycle now. Every now and then,
things would change. If not, everything remains the same.
Sometimes it really gets very boring and I just want to lay
on my bed and sleep the time away but I would be wasting my
time that way...

Luckily for me, I have trainings to like spend some of my time
on. At least I do not feel bored during trainings and I know that
I'm doing something meaningful.

PASSION. it's all about passion.

KL OPENS PICTURES.

2009-05-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

First ever...

2009-05-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

My first ever overseas tournament.

KL OPENS, somehow or rather, it was

great. The 3 days spent there was great.

The matches itself was even more awesome.

Met some great oppositions, was faced with

some great pressure.

I'm so happy that I was somehow or rather

able to cope with the pressure.

I was playing for the Singapore Youth Team(under21).

The team was great. I really felt like I was in

a team which everyone really cares for each

other. It was a team which showed that everyone

in the team was needed and noone could be left

behind. Everyone supported each other.

It was fun to be playing alongside players like

XY, Yiliang, Jon Sng, Leo, Eliza, Xindi and Wanyu.

Not forgetting teammates from NYP.

And also the rest of the team.

I thought that everyone did very well.

The team played as a team.

The team impressed other teams.

I would like to thank Robin, Ben, Enrique and Alex.

Thank you all so much for the time you all have

put in, for the encouragement and motivation.

THANK YOU! (:

** pictures will be uploaded soon.

lately...

2009-05-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

A lot of things happened lately.
They're really taking its toll on me.
Especially studies. wth
To many, my timetable may look easy.
But the truth is that it's not.
You miss one lesson and that's it.

Last saturday got my DK jersey.
I'm so happy I got my number.
but at the same time, i feel like i dun quite deserve it.
I have to work much harder to prove myself!

& my first summer league game wasn't that good.
My throws sucked, my runs weren't good enough.

IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER.
THE ONLY WAY IS UP, NOT DOWN!

An outing, Finally.

2009-05-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Went to school for only 2 hours today.
12pm to 2pm and that was it for the day.

Met Jon then headed down to velocity.
I say that there's nothing much there.
If you're there for the cheap sports shop,
I recommend you forget about it because
the shop sucks.

I still prefer Queensway!

After that, Met Roy at Bugis.
Like finally, an outing with the both of them.
Roamed around in town, shopping, eating.
I didn't buy anything but i sure did eat a lot
of things compared to the 2 of them.
They ended up commenting that I spend
A LOT of money on food alone.

Quote of the day:
A lion doesn't have to tell ppl that it's a lion,
but ppl will still be afraid of it.

LOL!

for how long more.

2009-05-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a matter of' 'how long more' for me.

Firstly, when i logged on to view my attendance record,
guess what I saw?

Yes! This!

hahhas
For long more would i see this.
I've been getting warning letters for attendance
for the past 2 semesters. Let's hope this semester
would be a good 100% one. (:

After that, it comes down to the time I'm sitting
at the sidelines doing admin work during trainings.
Well I'm not saying that I do not want to do the
admin work. I don't mind doing something for the
team, but who doesn't want to play? Who doesn't
want to train? Who doesn't want to be on the field?
Right??!!

I'm really hoping that I can start training like I did
before IVP but I know that is impossible unless I'm
really certified OK.

Come on!

WINNERS vs LOSERS

2009-05-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

WHEN A WINNER MAKES A MISTAKE,
HE SAYS, “I WAS WRONG”
When A Loser Makes A Mistake,
He Says, “It Wasn’t My Fault.”

A WINNER WORKS HARDER THAN A LOSER AND HAS MORE TIME;
A Loser Is Always “Too Busy” To Do What Is Necessary.

A WINNER GOES THROUGH A PROBLEM;
A Loser Goes Around It, And Never Gets Pass It.

A WINNER SAYS, “I’M GOOD, BUT NOT AS GOOD AS I OUGHT TO BE:”
A Loser Says, “I’m Not as Bad As A Lot Of Other People.”

A WINNER RESPECTS THOSE WHO ARE SUPERIOR TO HIM AND TRIES TO LEARN SOMETHING FROM THEM;
A Loser Resents Those Who Are Superior To Him And Tries To Find Chinks In Their Armour.

A WINNER FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE THAN HIS JOB;
A Loser Says, “I Only Work Here.”

A WINNER SAYS, “THERE OUGHT TO BE A BETTER WAY TO DO IT;”
A Loser Says, “That’s The Way It’s Always Been Done Here”

THE CHOICE IS YOURS…. CHOOSE TO BE A WINNER

I'm never going to give up.

2009-04-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

I may be feeling tired.
I may be feeling down.

But one thing is for sure,
I'm never going to give up.

It's been exhausting for me these few days but I myself chose this path. Therefore, I have to go on and fight all these emotions and achieve what i want to. As long as I do not drop my head and give up, I know that there's always a chance that I would do a good job. I promised the guys that i would not let them down and I have to make sure that I do not let them down.

I should go and rest now.
Charity Hat tomorrow.
Going to be yet another tiring day.

Club Crawl Pictures

2009-04-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

tired but very niceeee.

2009-04-24T23:03:00.000-07:00

1 day of preparation.

2 days of promotion and recruitment.

it's quite tiring.

but at the end of all this,

at least we reached our target.

and for now,

it goes on.

more work to be done.

more things to prepare for.

photos to be uploaded soon..

excellent.

2009-04-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.
My body is aching all over because of ytd's training.
Well because of the PT at least. I personally felt that
it was a good training for me. Especially during PT.
A lot of the things that I would have not be able to do
in the past, I did it last night. Maybe not that well
done but at least i didn't give up and manage to do
it relatively well together with the rest of the team.

The hurdles, push ups... I swear I'm proud of myself.
It is only going to get better from now on...

So, after training, went home to rest then out again
at 2am to watch soccer with the guys. Went to the
coffeeshop near my house.

I swear I was kept nervous right after the goal.
But the goal was magnificent though.
Pure class by the guy named Christiano Ronaldo.

NOW BRING ON ARSENAL.
THEY'RE GOING DOWN!!!

End. Soon.

2009-04-13T03:35:00.000-07:00

Woke up late.

Wasted time.

That's the summary of the day so far...

Woke up about 1pm.

Just slacked around in my room after eating up till now...

Watched korean dramas and music videos.

oh man, their girls are hot I SWEAR...

Especially those in Big Bang's MVs.

Now I understand why their songs are sometimes

number 1 on the list although it may not be that

nice or catchy. LOL

Or maybe why some girl bands are so popular

while some of the others are not. (:

Wondergirls are HOT!!!!!

SNSD is HOT!!!!

Jewelry is HOT!!!

Lee Hyori is HOT!!

Chae Yeon is HOT!

Hyoyeon

Sooyoung

Taeyeon

Tiffany

Jessica

Seohyun

Sunny

Yoona

Yuri

hyoyeon + sooyoung + taeyeon + tiffany + jessica + seohyun + sunny + yoona + yuri = 소녀시대SNSD (So nyeo shi dae) a.k.a Girls Generation

Looking and my calendar, school starts in about 1 week time.

That also means Club Crawl is in about 1 week and still people

are not replying to emails and smses. I'm trying to get things

done as soon as possible but without the details I need, not much

can be done. In the end, it all reflects on my efficiency.

WHICH IN THIS CASE, IS NOT EFFICIENT.

definitely.

2009-04-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm better than this!

Tired out.

2009-04-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

Went for Soccer with the cafe cartel and yishun sec people.

It's been quite some time man. Like I finally have one day

free and they're all free at the same time so when out for

soccer with them.

Supposed to meet them at 8:30am today and i'm super

glad I wasn't late. Well actually i can never be late as I

was already ready way before time.

Didnt sleep at all the whole night.

Spend the time completing the:

-NYP Campus Road Run rules & regulation.

-NYP Campus Road Run registration.

-NYP ultimate club crawl registration form.

Thankfully, had janice to help me with the

NYP ultimate frisbee registration form.

So, after some editing, I'm done with it. Will

have to send it to the rest then see if can or not.

I feel so good after a 5 hours nap.

Like I seriously need it man...

Training again tomorrow.

ohh man...

2009-04-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

Was talking to LB about this on the train just now.

I feel that as people grow up, the time they have
for themself seems to be lesser and lesser.
Well i do not know if it is really the case or not.
But to me, I seriously feel so.

I do not know why, but these days, I seriously feel tired.
Physically and also mentally. When i have free time, all
I want to do is to lie down and listen to songs and just let
time pass by but most of the times, I can't.

And girls? oh man. Don't talk to me about girls man.
I barely have enough time for myself. Of course I do
not have time to get myself involved in BGRs and things
like that man.

However fortunately enough for me,
at least the things that are keeping me busy are the things
that i love and enjoy doing. It would be such a nightmare
if i have been busy with things that i hate or have no interest in.

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND SLACK ALL DAY LONG...

Sick and tired of it.

2009-04-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

Stop asking why!

Reflect on it yourself!

Are you doing the right things to deserve it?

Are you having the right thinking to deserve it?

People always overlook things. The best thing is that the things that they overlook actually concerns them. They keep asking why why why but fail to reflect on it themselves. I have always believed that self learning is the best form of learning. You always learn things best when you learn it yourself. The sense of satisfaction is also greater.

I'm always trying to help.

And i do not mind helping.

But when the time comes,

YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELVES.

because fyi, I'm not that great.

IVP FINALS PICTURES

2009-04-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

CHAMPIONS

2009-03-30T23:18:00.000-07:00

IVP Champions...

Sounds great isn't it. But who would have thought that the super young team in us would win it. Well at least the super young team with another player who is young at heart. Well yes, I was talking about Robin Lim. I would like to say firstly of all, I'm very proud and honoured to be in his 2009 IVP story. The senior that I look up to the most, the person forever motivating others although he barely has time to motivate himself. He's just a remarkable figure to me.

------------

The journey wasn't easy for Team NYP. Well, some may say that we had some easy matches along the way. Fuck it. Those matches wasn't easy at all. We made it look easy and why were we able to make it look easy, IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE PREPARATION, THE TRAININGS, THE SWEAT, THE BLOOD, THE EFFORT of the whole team. Nothing is easy. Nothing comes easy. But it's up to you to make it look easy with good preparation or suffer through it by being not prepared.

The road to finals....
Group stage.
NYP 13 - 1 NTU
NYP 13 - 3 SP
NYP 8 - 9 SIM
NYP 7 - 0 CJC

If you noticed, we lost one match. We not only lost that match, we lost the first seed the group. So, how can it be easy. After that, everyone woke up. How strong the squad was, was clearly shown when everyone put the defeat behind and came back for training the week after. We worked hard yet again knowing that we have the finals to prepare for.

Then came the day of the finals....
Quarter finals. NYP defeated SMU
Semi finals. NYP defeated NTU
Finals NYP defeated NUS

After the 2 difficult games, The composure, the clear mind, the confidence that Team NYP showed in the finals was magnificent. We look as if we were not afraid of anyone. We played smart. Sidelines never died and was forever loud. Always supportive of whoever was called into the lines. Everytime Ben calls someone into the line, everyone cheers for that player. That's the kind of love for each other that we share. And maybe, we can say that it was this love that helped us clinch the title.

The prep talk before the day started inspired us. The video our dear coach made for us touched our hearts and made us want to play even harder. We were all so focused watching the video. We cheered loud after that. Even during warm up, our morale was high. Everytime we brought it in, everyone cheered like there's no tomorrow. Everytime someone falls, everyone cheers for him to get up and fight on. This LOVE we share cannot be explained by the things i type here. What i try to explain here, is only 1% of what Team NYP is actually about. What you can see here is the outside of the team, but in the inside, there's more to it than meets the eye.

And if you haven't already notice, this post about the journey has no "I" in it. There's only "We". That's because of the main reason that NYP is a Team. When we play, we play as a team. When we win, we win as a team. When we lose, we lose as a team. When we party, we go to Ben's and party as a team. When we drink, of cos we dun get drunk as team, some get drunk and some dun so that those who dun can send the rest back. (:

Once again, TEAM NYP ULTIMATE 2008/2009,
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS.!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL. EVERYONE IN THE TEAM.
*anyone who wears the jersey, is a part of the team* ;D

the love.

2009-03-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

After tomorrow,
all that will be left behind is memories.
Memories of the 'torture' we endured together.
Memories of the joy we shared together.
Memories of the time we spent together.

It's true that this IVP will only happen once in our lifetime.
Because. the next IVP will be a different story.
The people you go through it with would be slightly different.

The way we play tomorrow is what
we are going to leave behind.
AND it is really NOW OR NEVER.

To TEAM NYP ULTIMATE 2008/2009,

It has been a
pleasure, absolute pleasure to go through one whole season with all of you guys.
The time and joy that we shared together, noone else would be able to give me.
The tough times that we endured through together, i believe no other people in
the world be able to give me the same feeling.

Before this final battle
tomorrow, I would like to thank the seniors and my fellow teammates for
everything that they have given me. The seniors for always being there for me
giving me advice and motivation. The fellow teammates who were there with me
training hard week in week out. Thanks to all those who have put their trust on
me. And most importantly, the coach that has been behind us.

The weekly trainings, the bonding sessions and the training camp, we
have all went through it. Now for this last battle. Let's fight like there's no
tomorrow, no next game, no next point. I will play my hearts out, that, I
promise every single one in the team to thank you all for the trust that you
place in me.

3 words.

2009-03-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

just this 3 words.

I AM READY

that's it!

The day says it all.

2009-03-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm the last one to blog about IVP.

Well it's because i really needed time to think.

MY FIRST EVER IVP.

There were highs and lows.

And i guess some of those who were watching

didnt know how much some of the matches

actually meant to me.

Somehow or rather, on that morning when I woke up, I really could feel the thirst. Thirst not for water but for victory. The desire to win. I really felt it in myself and I told myself, on that day I'll give it my all.

And if you say, that loss was just a loss in the pool stage.

I guess you'll be wrong. That match was another match

that meant a lot to me. I believe, to the team too.

That explains why a lot of us look defeated.

Especially me as I was the one that was marking the

scorer. As he caught the disc and he celebrated his

team's victory, it really broke my heart. I felt sorry

to have let those that have put their hopes on me then.

However, defeat was a lesson learnt and nothing more

than that. In the past, it would have crushed me. It

would have made me crack.

But not now, I've proven on that day itself when i bounce

back looking to kill the opposition right after the defeat.

And I believe, this saturday, the whole NYP team will

bounce back looking to kill off any opposition that comes

our way.

I believe that we can still do it...

defeat.

2009-03-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'm super tired and I foresee Man Utd

losing yet again tonight. SO...................

Time to go to sleep and have a good rest!

sucked.

2009-03-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

Training was enriching i believe.

but i though i sucked today.

Decision making was bad...

Let's just hope tomorrow would be better.

Btw, I'm wondering if anyone actually gets job through sending online resumes. All I know is that I've actually sent out mine to quite a number saying they are hiring part time staff but sadly till now, none have replied. So do these companies actually bother to take some time to read the resumes that people send? Well I don't know.

Job Hunting would be at the top of my list.

After IVP that is. I really hope i can find one

which would be able to fit in just nice into my

schedule. NO JOB = NO MONEY man...

And maybe, No job = No KL opens. ):

But i will do anything and everything to go...

Last.

2009-03-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Last day ever at league,

I thought that I played my best ever game and

also my worst ever game all on the same day.

Well, It was really some great experience really.

Can't deny that I've learnt a lot from the league.

Now, my attention turns to NYP ultimate.

Icing my knee and resting so that I'll be alright

and 100% fit to play if I get selected in the squad.

Tired so slp awaits me now. (:

should i should i?

2009-03-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a little bit tired but I want to watch soccer but I have training tomorrow and need ample rest.
What should I do.?

Just finished my 3rd cup of cereal drink.
Still, i'm hungry. Very much hungry.
I do not understand why people would
suggest someone to drink cereal drink
when they are feeling hungry and is busy
in the office. After my 3rd cup, I still do
not think that it helps.

I FEEL LIKE CALLING MCDONALDS DELIVERY!
well, maybe i just should.

A dragon cannot have 2 heads. Wanna know why?

Nobody nobody but you!!!

2009-03-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

As promised NYTP people.

Nobody tutorial.

Come do your elearning people.!!!

I chose this group cos they're quite good.

And they show the whole body movement.

JUST LIKE WONDER GIRLS.

but of course noone does it better than

wonder girls themselves.

Btw, here's a video for I found quite amusing. (:

She can dance to all 4 of Wonder girls top songs.

power sia.!

Rot when you're bored.

2009-03-06T18:37:00.000-08:00

Holidays holidays holidays.
When you so busy with school work and stuffs, you want holidays but when you're on holiday and have nothing to do, how you wish you had something to do. A lot of people have been rotting at home with nothing to do i believe. Lucky for me, I have things to keep myself busy with.

Resume sent.
NYTP particulars list done.

Time to go and have fun now.

I think every need to relax and have fun sometimes too.

Here's a wonder girls video. THIS FOOL.

hahahas. ENJOY!!! hahahas.

over but it's just the beginning.

2009-03-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

Well the camp ended on a high I should say.

I had fun although at times, it was super tiring.
Especially during the last day, I was really out
of energy i should say.
Maybe is was fatigue.

I didn't jump into the pool like everyone else.
Felt bad about it though.

But all i can say is that the camp made me love the team more. It really taught me a lot and it also told me what the team actually thinks of me. I should be thankful that i am in such a great team. I have super great seniors who are alway there for me. Not forgetting my other teammates who cares for me too.

When I was down, everyone stood by me.
Everyone would be there motivating me.
When I am on a high, I have my teammates
to share the joy with me. And also work
hard for me. I so blessed i should say.

And not forgetting the coaches.
They have always been there guiding me.
I really would not have made it here without
anyone in the NYP ultimate team today.

But like what i always think.
I can't just stop here..
There's still a long way to go.
My games can be a lot better.

That's my AIM now.

Exhausted.

2009-03-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

My holidays are so filled with Ultimate Frisbee.
but well, I LOVE IT that way. hahahas.

It can get quite tiring at times.
Like now, I feel quite tired although i did not play.
Maybe i was tired because of my sleepless nights.
I dunno.

But what i know is that i would be in sch for a camp.
2, 3 and 4 March.

PACK BAG NOW!

2009-02-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

bored bored bored

2009-02-26T18:31:00.000-08:00

When you're bored, what do you do?

I don't have an answer to that question.
Like now, I'm so bored and I've got nothing to do so what should i do to not feel bored. I really do not know. Maybe i should turn on the TV and watch my favourite channel(Chinese Star Movies). Maybe i should switch on my PSP and start playing FIFA09 or Winning Eleven 2009. Maybe i should go read some novels online. This boredom is killing me. Somehow or rather, this is one bad thing about holidays.

One good thing is that I do not have to study.
and i can sleep all day long if i want to. LOL

But i think the best thing for me to do now is...
to go out, find a job and work part-time this holidays.
At least i can use it to spend some of my time and
also earn some decent money at the same time.
But come to think of it again, it's difficult to find a job
which only requires me to work like 3-4 days a week.
Other days i will be busy with Ultimate Frisbee.

Hais...

FINALLY

2009-02-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

Finally finally finally,
IT'S OVER BAYBEH!!!

Now it's time! Time to
temporarily forget about studies.!

I'm going to watch wonder girls on youtube everyday.
I'm going to play ultimate frisbee everyday.
I'm going to play PSP everyday.
I'm going to watch TV everyday.

PARTY TIME MAN!!!

Final round to the war.

2009-02-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

Conquer Accounting for Assets
and I'm done fighting this war.
Overall outcome not known but
i know that i somehow have
done my best for it since I did
not give for any one module. (:

and i seriously need to go and find a job soon. -.-

Earn it.

2009-02-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

I guess i left my brains at home today.
How stupid could I be by making all
those stupid mistakes.

I want it, i have to work for it...
nothing is for sure.

If I do not work hard,
then i do not deserve it.

Not yet.

2009-02-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Just as i was about to give up,
I told myself N O NO.
I do not want that 'long service' award.
hahahs.

I think that last minute hardcore mugging
session sure did help me a lot and I was at
least able to comeplete my stats theory
paper with answers that are logical and
75% correct. UNLIKE MY MARKETING!

Now it all comes down to just 1 more.
AFTER THAT I'M DONE WITH EXAMS!
omgdness this feeling is somehow great.
not sure about how it would feel when the
results are released though. LOL

come on come on

2009-02-19T22:40:00.000-08:00

2 more to go and I'm done.
with exams i mean.

But tomorrow, hais...
It's so going to kill me lah.

I'm SO DEAD.

It is goodbye isn't it?

2009-02-16T23:52:00.000-08:00

The National Stadium.

I was watching channel 5 after I came back home

from the exam today and there was a documentary

about the National Stadium and the memories that

people have with it. Well as you all know, it is going

to be demolished soon. Watching the documentary

actually sets me thinking about my own memories

too. Somehow or rather, it gives me this happy feeling

thinking about the past but at the same time, I also

feel sad as a place that i can relate too is going to be

gone for good soon.

The first ever time I went to the National Stadium was when i was still a small kid. It was NATIONAL DAY then. Celebrating National Day at a place which somehow symbolises the heart and soul of Singapore was great. To many, singing the national day songs and national anthem can be a cheesy affair, but when it's National Day and everyone of different races and religion are gathered there, you somehow just let the words come out of your mouth loudly. Cheesy you say? Well, NOONE THERE AT THAT MOMENT WOULD CARE!

And then came all the many other times when I was there to watch soccer. From the Singapore National Team's matches to SAFFC's singapore cup finals. Through these matches are where my passion for sports came from and not surprisingly, my dream too. Well, I admit i have a lot of dreams and one of them is to REPRESENT SINGAPORE IN A SPORT. I was so inspired watching those National soccer players giving their all on the pitch, running hard even when they are tired. It really inspires me a lot.

There was once, the tickets were sold out, so only my father and grandpa got tickets to the soccer match. The Singapore National team was playing against Malaysia then. I was forced to stay at home and watch it live on TV. Guess what? I saw my father and grandpa on TV. My mum was like, "EH! LOOK!" and there the both of them was, waving their singapore flags and shouting like some 'mad monkeys'. LOL

So, everytime i look at the photos taken at the National Stadium, I feel like i can really relate my life to that place. Even now, I work super hard in every sport that i play all because of the inspiritions and motivations that i get from those photos. I even had a dream one night. I dreamt that I was wearing a jersey with the Singapore flag on my chest. It was the Ultimate Frisbee Championships and the whole National Stadium was full with people wearing red and white. I guess this dream was just a sweet dream and would never come true. But well, there's no wrong dreaming about something especially when you feel happy when you wake up from it.

Hais..

all the moments,

all the memories...

Like human beings, buildings come and go too.

I guess, there's no choice but to bid farewell

when it's really time to part and go.

But Nothing, NOTHING stops us from working

hard to achieve something that we want.

Be it big or small, WE CAN do it if we want it.

So let's all work hard to achieve the things

that we are aiming for. ALL THE BEST!

Dedicated to
-NYP Ultimate Frisbee Team
-Disc Knights
-Ultimate Frisbee National Youth Team.

When people driven with passion for a sport meet,
there are bound to be special moments and memories
that all of us may treasure.

Doing something that we love together is always
the best form of happiness that you can get from
a sport, even if you win or not.

Win = a bonus.
But what matters is the journey that everyone
goes through. The time that everyone spent
working hard together. That's what matters most.

Tired.

2009-02-14T23:52:00.000-08:00

Just like any other Saturday and Sundays, I think I'm going to feel like tired as usual and who says that ULTIMATE FRISBEE is an easy sport. It's super demanding and i really mean it. Be it physically, mentally or financially. IT IS DEMANDING. trust me.

But at the same time, I'm facing something that
is demanding too and that is my studies. LOL.
I still haven't really started to study for my
Macro paper which is on MONDAY.

so, plan for tomorrow...
1)wake up early.
2)study
3)go league
4)come home early
5)study again.

2 more weeks to go before HOLIDAYS.
cool or what SIOL. LOL

Exams exams exams.

2009-02-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

Studying just now was quite fruitful.
Covered like quite a lot i believe.
And i swear i hate Business Stats.
BOTH THEORY AND METHOD.
They're tearing my brain apart!!!

The best thing is that for stats method, i still do not know how much I got for the previous test which is very important because the overall weightage is quite high. I screwed if i fail that one. I may even be staring in the possibility of getting expelled from school and up till now, i'm not that confident of getting an A for the final paper. Some can teach me pls?!

With skills and achievements,
comes a little arrogance.
BUT
Talent can only take you that far,
you still need that hardwork to go
further and achieve more.

Btw, I don't know why but more and more people are starting to like Wonder Girl's songs. Maybe it's because of me always listening, singing and Dancing to it. LOL but still no excuse to those who initially said that they SUCKS. Now, you know that their songs are nice and cool eh.

For more WONDER GIRLS,
pls kindly visit youtube and search for them.
Enjoy the videos after that. (:

Hyorish

2009-02-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

I'm so glad the craze for her is still on.
omgdness i LOVE lee hyori man!

Was listening to songs when i was studying
when her song played. POWER to the max!

Start your engine.

2009-02-08T23:38:00.000-08:00

Studying marathon or should i say
MUGGING MARATHON would
officialy start TOMORROW.

I have to promise myself this. LOL

I have on extra module to prepare
for compared to last semester. Well,
who ask me to fail modules last sem.

aim for this semester:
PASS ALL MODULES.

Achieve this aim and I would be happy
already. So I think i really have to work
super duper super duper super duper
HARD.

Now, i guess i have to SLEEP hard too.
(:

Tiring Day.

2009-02-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

How i regret not sleeping early yesterday.

I could barely keep my eyes open while I

was on the train on the way to Clementi MRT.

and the indian auntie who sat beside me added

to the "pain". LOL she was singing some indian

song while listening to her MP3. I swear It was

'SUPER NICE' to listen to. hahas

And i dunno why i did not have appetite to eat.

During the 'lunchbreak' I only ordered a large

Ice Lemon Tea and a double cheesburger...

Something must be wrong. -.-

League tomorrow...

Super duper tiring and stressful, these few days.

BUT FOR ULTIMATE, I'LL GO ON!

The End is Near.

2009-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Last tutorial for this academic year has passed.

Last lecture would be tomorrow. After that,

I would be on my own preparing for the semestral

examinations which is the week after next.

So little time...
So much to do...

Well, no choice but to go ahead an accept this as a

challenge to my own capabilities. I'm aiming to pass

ALL modules this time round. I do not want to fail

any or should I say, I can't faily any.

Cause I believe.

2009-02-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

Somethings are really worth doing and Some feelings are really worth indulging yourself in. I have been thinking about things over this period of my life and I've come to a conclusion that somethings, although they came to hurt me sometimes, I do not regret doing it.

Up till this very moment,
I do not regret it...

I'm having my excel test tomorrow.
A very important one i should say.
However, I think I'm well prepared for it, and that's why I still went for training today. Though of leaving early initially but I just went ahead till the end. I guess it doesn't really matter since I already feel that I'm prepared. I going to get an A for that test!

Time for me to rest now.
I think...

Books Books Books.

2009-02-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life, I'm feeling pressured because exams is like just round the corner. I swear this is the first time ever i'm feeling this way man. Maybe it's because I'm already repeating 2 modules now and I have yet to fully understand the 2 of them.

I once saw discs flying over my head.
Now it's totally different.
I'm seeing books flying over my head.

I have to start studying soon

or I'M SO DEAD.

Start of the studying season.

2009-01-30T19:36:00.000-08:00

After this week, it would be hardcore.

HARDCORE STUDYING for me...

It's do or die for me.

But i guess, it's going to be DO.

School today was boring.

Went to school for only 2 hours

and i spent the rest of the time

slacking in school with Edwin and Eliseus.

I don't know why but i feel super tired.

All i want to do is SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

But i guess, it's tv time first. (:

Nobody - Wonder Girls.

2009-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

The first video is Wonder Girls dancing to their song.

I posted it up so that you can compare with the second video.

In the second video, Wonder Girls went on to demonstrate

on how to dance to the song and also tried to teach the guests

on the show.

Well it's in Korean, but i guess even if you do not understand

what they are talking about, just by looking at the actions,

you somehow or rather would understand and laugh at this

very hilarious video.

f.y.i, wonder girls is my favourite korean girl band. xD

Tiring saturday.

2009-01-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

Today sure was tiring and waking up in the morning is something i had to do since i got into Poly. Some of my classes requires me to wake up in the morning, but i still hate it. (:

Had DK NYP SIM HAT TOURNAMENT today.

So i was supposed to be at west coast park by 9am.

And west coast park to me is far away from my house.

Then had National Youth Team Trials after that.

Of course i had some time to go to Mcdonalds to

get myself a nice lunch before going back to action.

I swear i hate having to take the public transport after Ultimate. It's like you're smelly and sweaty and you have to take the public transport. Just feel like super uncomfortable but somehow or rather i have no choice unless the events are held like at the field beside my house. LOL

This makes me want to get my license FASTER!!!

Alright I'm slacking now, BUT

I feel super tired.

Should i sleep all the way till tomorrow

afternoon or something.? LOL

Whatever it takes.

2009-01-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

Exams in 3 weeks time now...

Ivp in about 2 months time...

Hais how am i going to cope with all this.

How? I have to go figured out fast.

But I know, whatever it takes,

I'm going to do this.!

A fool again.

2009-01-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

We won, got point cap.
19 - 6.

But so what?
i know i did not play my best today.
i know i could have done better.

and that fucking incident just
had to happen and spoil my mood.

F it ah.
Time to get over such things
and concentrate on the big
things to train for ahead...

Counting down.

2009-01-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

Now that i'm thinking about it, i've just realised something very important. My days somehow or rather are numbered. As in the days till important events. They are coming so fast that i'm not even sure if i can be fully prepared when the day finally comes.

Exams in 4 weeks time.
14 training sessions till IVP.

Hais i'm going to have to be working my ass off now.
I would have to mug like hell and work my ass off
to fight for a place in the IVP team.

I'm just super nervous about everything right now.
However, I somehow know that i can pull it off.

My aims
My dreams
I'm going to achieve them!

15 more sessions.

2009-01-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

Training was as usual, taxing.
Both physically and mentally.
But i guess i do learn new things
each time i attend training..

I'm fighting.
Fighting for a place in the team.
Fighting to improve on my basics.

What more can i ask for?
I already have good teammates.
Good coaches. Good facilities.
It's up to me if i want to improve.

Training again tomorrow.
Have to make full use of it
since there are like only 15
trainings before IVP.

Come on NYP!!!
WE WILL GET THERE!!!

Beginning to be alright..

2009-01-11T22:39:00.000-08:00

My back feels kind of better although still not fully recovered yet. My knee does not feel that loose anymore. Time + rest would heal all these I know but i think i'm well enough to start playing again.

Started playing today and i felt quite ok except
for some pains after knocks to my knee.
I guess i had a good day at training and league
today although my performance was nothing
close to great but still, I learnt new things today.

Still have a lot to work on.
With determination and hardwork, I'll get there..

To all my teammates,
LET'S WORK HARD TO ACHIEVE OUR AIMS!!!

This feeling.

2009-01-09T19:15:00.000-08:00

I once told myself that it is here to stay.
But i guess now, it's time i force it to go.
Want it or not, I have to forget about it.
Just thinking about it makes me sad.

My wish, it's true now that i would never come true. Not now, not in futre. NEVER. I had a feeling that it was never going to come true. Now, it's proven. Why does all this bad feelings of mine never fail to come true.

ICAs, presentations and project datelines.
HAIS.. All these are taking their toll on me.
I'm thankful for these 2 days off that i got.
Nice time for me to rest and to think calmly.
And mostly importantly, recover from these
stupid and ever irritating injuries...

Looking forward to day the when I would be
fully fit and would be able to start playing again.

No choice but to keep myself occupied thinking
about ultimate frisbee to somehow run away
from the pain that i suffer in my heart.

Boorrriiiinnnnnggggggg

2009-01-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

School is BORING.
I'm almost dying in class now.
Sleepy. Hungry. Bored.
SAVE ME PLEASE!!!

So looking forward to Sunday.!!!

HappyNewYear

2009-01-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

Firstly, yea i want to wish everyone a
happy new year. forget about last year.

Went to Ben's hse for a mini countdown ytd.
Well can say mini but to us, it was the fun
that even the luxury of the countdown
at Marina would not be able to give.
We party-ed all the way till this morning.

The opportunity for us to have fun and also
have a bond & understanding between us.

We ate.
We chat.
We watched TV.
We BBQ-ed.
We drank.
We played games.

For me, it was so much fun.

And Thanks guys!!!
Lihui.
Hazel.
Liying.
Ben.
Robin.
CS.
Xeun.
Hayden.
Janice.
Alvin.
Eliseus.
and all those who were there.
THANKS SO MUCH...

Monday Blues

2008-12-29T23:56:00.000-08:00

What's worst is that school reopens today.
It was so dreadful as i was not feeling well.
Coughing the whole time sucks man...
The time seem to pass by so so slowly.

as usual, got scolded by the stats tutor again.

Alright put all that aside... there's a band i would
like to advertise here. I love their songs.
I say i love their songs not because one of them is
a friend of mine but it's because the song really is
nice to me...

They're ORANGECOVE.

you can find them at Facebook and Youtube too..
http://www.youtube.com/user/OrangeCoveTV

Here's their latest song... Beautiful Eyes.

Boring...

2008-12-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

Yes my day was boring...
but not the movies i watched.
Spent my day watching 4 movies online.

The pink panther.
Drumline.
White Chick.
National Security.

I have watched these movies for like more
than 3 times already but i still enjoy them.

Alright, check up is tomorrow...
Hoping that everything would turn out well.
But i'm not positive about that. lol

WHY!!!

2008-12-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

I keep telling myself that everything is over.
It's hopeless, useless for me to think about it.
I keep telling myself that it's wont happen.
Nothing is going to change the fact that is over.

But why is it that i just cant forget about it.
Why is it that day and night, i think i dream about it.

Why can't my heart just go in sync with my mind?
Why can't i just forget about it and stop thinking?
Why is it that i still want it to happen?

Honestly speaking,
I still am
- thinking about my wish now.
- thinking about her now.
But fuck it, I should be forgetting all these.
Cause there's no use anymore.

It's as if there was a circle.
She and I were once in it together.
But now, she has choosen to leave it.
I should be stepping out of that circle.
But why do i still stay in it, standing all day
WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK IN?
Why do i still stay in there when i clearly
know that she never is going to come back?

ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Wish?

2008-12-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

people keep saying how good they have been
and old Mr Santa should grand them their wish.

Wish?

hais i guess mine will never ever come true.
NO MATTER WHAT, it won't come true.

hais...

F*** this injury!

2008-12-23T23:56:00.000-08:00

My back injury is slowly beginning to take its toll on me. I do not mean physically but mentally. The feeling of not being able to train with everyone else just sucks like hell. I'm not anywhere near good and yet i can't train to improve.

Everyone else is pushing themselves while
all that i could do was to sit one side and
watch, give motivation to them.
I want to train with everyone else.
I want to go through all that with them.
BUT i can't as i have to rest.

I'm praying that i'll be ok soon.

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE!

sorry it was a so last minute thing
so your birthday cake ended up
being a chocolate spring roll cake. xD

Time killed.

2008-12-22T23:45:00.000-08:00

Went to school today to help for the filming.
Alot of crap, alot of fun. but in the end,
it was all for helping a teammate a friend.
Aren't we good people? (:

After that had lunch-dinner with Djamal and Lihui.
More crap more fun more laughters then.
Killed time there before making my way home.

Looking forward to next Tuesday.
The day of my check-up.
Once certified OK, straight back into action!

Come on, my dear back, pls pls pls be ok.

Tired out.

2008-12-21T23:57:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how you can feel so tired just by doing nothing. Well not exactly nothing but it's close to that somehow.

Woke up at 7+am and got ready to go to Sengkang.
I did not train, did not play. But i feel super tired.
Maybe not getting to play can make me super tired.
But well, I have to take care of myself.

Better to stop, recover then play again
than not stop, play and never recover.

After league finished, or rather my job finished,
Rushed down to Kallang Stadium to watch the match.

AFF suzuki cup Semi
Singapore 0 - 1 Vietnam

Well althought Singapore lost, I kind of enjoyed it.
The whole experience of being there wearing RED.
The atmosphere was just so great.
You dun always get to see the stadium full during
a soccer match.
Tonight, It was almost full.
Somehow felt like National Day.

Superb party.

2008-12-20T15:19:00.000-08:00

Like expected,
there was lots of people, fun, laughter.

You dun get to see them like this all the time.

Woohoo!

Come on! Give it to me!

Wuuuu Army men paying the stripper?

Douglas looked like he's drunk already.

Wa cannot tahan sia BRYAN. act cute wth -.-

Well, i had my try at it too. hehe

-.-

more -.-!

You want Bon Jovi? we have!

Want poly girls in uniform? we have!

Want guys in pyjamas? we have! bikini also have ah!

The Dancefloor. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?

Enjoyed the party totally.
Cheers! to the organising committee.

Alright, now i'm not happy that i will be out for 2 weeks. Out as in i can't play ultimate frisbee for 2 weeks now as instructed by the doctor. Super sucks man the feeling, stupid back injury. 2 weeks to me is a long long time and i'm sure everytime i see people play, I would want to play too.

Where my PARTY PEOPLE at?

2008-12-19T16:02:00.000-08:00

All the troubles and worries put behind,
I'm going to enjoy myself tonight.

Lots of people.
Lots of fun.
Lots of laughters.

Be back tomorrow people!!!

After a sleepless night.

2008-12-18T15:47:00.000-08:00

'Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt, and

dance like you do when nobody's watching.'

The phrase above has always been my motivation in whatever thing i'm doing be it studying, working, loving someone, or in my ultimate frisbee career. Can be said that it is something that is constantly on my mind. When everyone else do not feel like working hard, I am working my ass off. A lot of times, i have to thank the person who came up with that quote.

Now may be just a time in my life that there
are things that i need to forget and move on.
I have a lot more things to look forward to.
And most importantly a place in the team for
IVP to fight for.

There's no use looking back at things that will only affect me and my performance in anything. I know i can do this and i'm going to do it. Nothing is going to bring me down now.

FIFA club world cup semifinals.

2008-12-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

Gamba Osaka 3 - 5 Man Utd

Hopes? f*** them!

2008-12-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling super down although I know it's useless feeling this way but somehow or rather, I just can't help but to feel this way. All that has been going on these few days really sucked for me. Nothing has been going well.

Well that's life, i know.

Christmas is coming...

But i guess my only wish for christmas

would never come true.

not now, not in future...

Hais... I feel like just spending my time

alone and really alone away from others.

Btw, i have been reading the preview of

some novels wrote by a local writer and

i guess it would be nice to get these 6 books.

they're are in my wishlist for christmas or birthday.

Like a CD player.

2008-12-17T01:38:00.000-08:00

Yea that's how i feel. When people need me, they come. When they dun, they go. Well, thanks for visiting then but now, you're fucking invited to leave. Now i know that for all this while, what i had was all, hallucinations of what i do not have?
Yea maybe that's how i can describe it.

Time for me to wake up.
Wake up my idea.
Pick myself up.

How do I do this?
I dunno but I am going to do so.

All those were lies isn't it?

2008-12-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

In this build-up to Christmas,
I've realised one thing...

All i want for Christmas is Y O U you.

Tomorrow.

2008-12-13T22:45:00.000-08:00

I guess this has to be the toughest time yet.
Fighting all these emotions to prepare for
the difficult day ahead isn't easy at all...

Training and then
2 league matches in one day.
what's worst is that the 2 matches
are against 2 very tough teams which
means i have to play my best game.

I'm trying my very best to do this.
I'm strong and i know that, but would
I be able to handle all these emotions?
I guess i have no choice but to FIGHT.

It's too late to have regrets isn't it?

If I...

2008-12-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

If I had one of the abilities of God,
I would have chosen to relive my past, and slowly, tenderly, treasuring every single hour, minute and second with you.
Every single moment with you.

I'm sorry.

2008-12-13T00:15:00.000-08:00

As I lay here in the room of this new place that
i would be staying in now, my mind is filled
with just one thing or should i say one person.

Hais how i wished she knew how much i miss her.

but i'm to be blamed for my actions and now
i have to the consequences of my actions...

Her birthday this weekend, i guess
i shouldn't disturb her lest i spoil her mood.

I'm sorry. I really am...
i know u're angry. i dunno till when, but
i'm waiting for the day when we could be happy again.

seriously i'm sorry.
and i miss u...

Leave Leaving Left.

2008-12-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yes i know, i should leave now...

I had noone to talk to about this
but now i have made up my mind.
I think it's time i leave home and
go live with my friend.. so,

off i go...

And also i should stop being a distraction
to others. Sorry JP and Jasmond if i have
not been a good friend all this while and
all i do is distract the both of you...
You guys could have achieved more if
i wasn't there distracting u guys all
this while...

Promise to self: Be on my own now...

Hais i just can't seem to bring happiness to everyone isn't it. All i give to my mum is troubles, worries and quarrels. Even to her, all i bring is more troubles and problems which only ends up in her not being happy. Someone tell me what to do. Hais, or maybe the happiness that i bring to others is shortlived all the time. Maybe that is why i have had so many in the past which somehow makes me look like a player.?
well i guess i'm not that good anymore or rather i was NEVER good.

I'm better off dead isn't it?