forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you
What's worst is that school reopens today. It was so dreadful as i was not feeling well. Coughing the whole time sucks man... The time seem to pass by so so slowly.
as usual, got scolded by the stats tutor again.
Alright put all that aside... there's a band i would like to advertise here. I love their songs. I say i love their songs not because one of them is a friend of mine but it's because the song really is nice to me...
Yes my day was boring... but not the movies i watched. Spent my day watching 4 movies online.
The pink panther. Drumline. White Chick. National Security.
I have watched these movies for like more than 3 times already but i still enjoy them.
Alright, check up is tomorrow... Hoping that everything would turn out well. But i'm not positive about that. lol
Thursday, December 25, 2008|WHY!!! | 10:43 PM
I keep telling myself that everything is over. It's hopeless, useless for me to think about it. I keep telling myself that it's wont happen. Nothing is going to change the fact that is over.
But why is it that i just cant forget about it. Why is it that day and night, i think i dream about it.
Why can't my heart just go in sync with my mind? Why can't i just forget about it and stop thinking? Why is it that i still want it to happen?
Honestly speaking, I still am - thinking about my wish now. - thinking about her now. But fuck it, I should be forgetting all these. Cause there's no use anymore.
It's as if there was a circle. She and I were once in it together. But now, she has choosen to leave it. I should be stepping out of that circle. But why do i still stay in it, standing all day WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK IN? Why do i still stay in there when i clearly know that she never is going to come back?
ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008|Wish? | 7:22 PM
people keep saying how good they have been and old Mr Santa should grand them their wish.
Wish?
hais i guess mine will never ever come true. NO MATTER WHAT, it won't come true.
hais...
Tuesday, December 23, 2008|F*** this injury! | 11:56 PM
My back injury is slowly beginning to take its toll on me. I do not mean physically but mentally. The feeling of not being able to train with everyone else just sucks like hell. I'm not anywhere near good and yet i can't train to improve.
Everyone else is pushing themselves while all that i could do was to sit one side and watch, give motivation to them. I want to train with everyone else. I want to go through all that with them. BUT i can't as i have to rest.
I'm praying that i'll be ok soon.
Anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE!
sorry it was a so last minute thing so your birthday cake ended up being a chocolate spring roll cake. xD
Monday, December 22, 2008|Time killed. | 11:45 PM
Went to school today to help for the filming. Alot of crap, alot of fun. but in the end, it was all for helping a teammate a friend. Aren't we good people? (:
After that had lunch-dinner with Djamal and Lihui. More crap more fun more laughters then. Killed time there before making my way home.
Looking forward to next Tuesday. The day of my check-up. Once certified OK, straight back into action!
Come on, my dear back, pls pls pls be ok.
Sunday, December 21, 2008|Tired out. | 11:57 PM
It's amazing how you can feel so tired just by doing nothing. Well not exactly nothing but it's close to that somehow.
Woke up at 7+am and got ready to go to Sengkang. I did not train, did not play. But i feel super tired. Maybe not getting to play can make me super tired. But well, I have to take care of myself.
Better to stop, recover then play again than not stop, play and never recover.
After league finished, or rather my job finished, Rushed down to Kallang Stadium to watch the match.
AFF suzuki cup Semi Singapore 0 - 1 Vietnam
Well althought Singapore lost, I kind of enjoyed it. The whole experience of being there wearing RED. The atmosphere was just so great. You dun always get to see the stadium full during a soccer match. Tonight, It was almost full. Somehow felt like National Day.
Saturday, December 20, 2008|Superb party. | 3:19 PM
Like expected, there was lots of people, fun, laughter.
You dun get to see them like this all the time.
Woohoo!
Come on! Give it to me!
Wuuuu Army men paying the stripper?
Douglas looked like he's drunk already.
Wa cannot tahan sia BRYAN. act cute wth -.-
Well, i had my try at it too. hehe
-.-
more -.-!
You want Bon Jovi? we have!
Want poly girls in uniform? we have!
Want guys in pyjamas? we have! bikini also have ah!
The Dancefloor. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
Enjoyed the party totally. Cheers! to the organising committee.
Alright, now i'm not happy that i will be out for 2 weeks. Out as in i can't play ultimate frisbee for 2 weeks now as instructed by the doctor. Super sucks man the feeling, stupid back injury. 2 weeks to me is a long long time and i'm sure everytime i see people play, I would want to play too.
Friday, December 19, 2008|Where my PARTY PEOPLE at? | 4:02 PM
All the troubles and worries put behind, I'm going to enjoy myself tonight.
Lots of people. Lots of fun. Lots of laughters.
Be back tomorrow people!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008|After a sleepless night. | 3:47 PM
'Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching.'
The phrase above has always been my motivation in whatever thing i'm doing be it studying, working, loving someone, or in my ultimate frisbee career. Can be said that it is something that is constantly on my mind. When everyone else do not feel like working hard, I am working my ass off. A lot of times, i have to thank the person who came up with that quote.
Now may be just a time in my life that there are things that i need to forget and move on. I have a lot more things to look forward to. And most importantly a place in the team for IVP to fight for.
There's no use looking back at things that will only affect me and my performance in anything. I know i can do this and i'm going to do it. Nothing is going to bring me down now.
|FIFA club world cup semifinals. | 5:49 AM
Gamba Osaka 3 - 5 Man Utd
Wednesday, December 17, 2008|Hopes? f*** them! | 7:13 AM
I'm feeling super down although I know it's useless feeling this way but somehow or rather, I just can't help but to feel this way. All that has been going on these few days really sucked for me. Nothing has been going well.
Well that's life, i know.
Christmas is coming...
But i guess my only wish for christmas
would never come true.
not now, not in future...
Hais... I feel like just spending my time
alone and really alone away from others.
Btw, i have been reading the preview of
some novels wrote by a local writer and
i guess it would be nice to get these 6 books.
they're are in my wishlist for christmas or birthday.
|Like a CD player. | 1:38 AM
Yea that's how i feel. When people need me, they come. When they dun, they go. Well, thanks for visiting then but now, you're fucking invited to leave. Now i know that for all this while, what i had was all, hallucinations of what i do not have? Yea maybe that's how i can describe it.
Time for me to wake up. Wake up my idea. Pick myself up.
How do I do this? I dunno but I am going to do so.
All those were lies isn't it?
Sunday, December 14, 2008| | 11:07 PM
In this build-up to Christmas, I've realised one thing...
All i want for Christmas is Y O U you.
Saturday, December 13, 2008|Tomorrow. | 10:45 PM
I guess this has to be the toughest time yet. Fighting all these emotions to prepare for the difficult day ahead isn't easy at all...
Training and then 2 league matches in one day. what's worst is that the 2 matches are against 2 very tough teams which means i have to play my best game.
I'm trying my very best to do this. I'm strong and i know that, but would I be able to handle all these emotions? I guess i have no choice but to FIGHT.
It's too late to have regrets isn't it?
|If I... | 1:21 PM
If I had one of the abilities of God, I would have chosen to relive my past, and slowly, tenderly, treasuring every single hour, minute and second with you. Every single moment with you.
|I'm sorry. | 12:15 AM
As I lay here in the room of this new place that i would be staying in now, my mind is filled with just one thing or should i say one person.
Hais how i wished she knew how much i miss her.
but i'm to be blamed for my actions and now i have to the consequences of my actions...
Her birthday this weekend, i guess i shouldn't disturb her lest i spoil her mood.
I'm sorry. I really am... i know u're angry. i dunno till when, but i'm waiting for the day when we could be happy again.
seriously i'm sorry. and i miss u...
Friday, December 12, 2008|Leave Leaving Left. | 10:41 AM
Yes i know, i should leave now...
I had noone to talk to about this but now i have made up my mind. I think it's time i leave home and go live with my friend.. so,
off i go...
And also i should stop being a distraction to others. Sorry JP and Jasmond if i have not been a good friend all this while and all i do is distract the both of you... You guys could have achieved more if i wasn't there distracting u guys all this while...
Promise to self: Be on my own now...
Hais i just can't seem to bring happiness to everyone isn't it. All i give to my mum is troubles, worries and quarrels. Even to her, all i bring is more troubles and problems which only ends up in her not being happy. Someone tell me what to do. Hais, or maybe the happiness that i bring to others is shortlived all the time. Maybe that is why i have had so many in the past which somehow makes me look like a player.? well i guess i'm not that good anymore or rather i was NEVER good.
